The Successful Single Mom Has a Happy Holiday Season

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So the kids are with dad some of this holiday season? It may seem like the end of the world, but it's not! (I promise.)

I remember the first Christmas my daughter went to her father's house ... I had become "such a mom" I wasn't sure how I should or could spend the time. I had illusions of taking hot baths, having time to catch up on shows and the stack of books next to my bed. Instead, I hardly felt energized enough to do more than the basics. I honestly wasn't sure what to do with myself, because I was so used to being a mom every minute of every day, that I wasn't working, that having non-work time left me frozen.

In retrospect, that was time I should have taken those hot baths, enjoyed chocolate in multiple temperatures and headed to the bookstore to read People Magazine.

You Must End Your Affair ... and Here's How

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One of my dear friends called me last week and asked for my input on a tricky situation.

Turns out she has been in a relationship, her first post-divorce, for the past year. The tricky part of the equation is that he's married. Although at one point he'd decided to end his marriage, and there were talks of them being together, introducing their kids to one another, and living happily ever after, this fairly-tale isn't quite having the happy ending she'd hoped. After a few months, he and his wife had indeed decided to call it quits. But after a short time, he decided to give his marriage another try, and after a few months, he once again announced they were getting a divorce.

But he hasn't moved out. No papers have been filed. And my gal's heart is fully vested and she's wondering how much longer she should hold on and hold out.

Oh Sh!t Day! The Day You Became a Single Mom

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I've said since I first wrote The Successful Single Mom book that 

"Today is somebody's Oh Shit! day ... the day they became a single mom and realized exactly what that truly means."

I remember my Oh Sh!t Day like it was yesterday. The end of my marriage felt like the end of everything, and after awhile, the possibility of a new beginning. I had been married for 7 years and had a 2-year-old. I lived in Hawaii, with my then-husband, who was a military officer. I was far away from home, no family go "home" to, and I was self-employed. Good and not-so-good, all at the same time.


During the first few months after my divorce, I experienced all kinds of emotions: panic, because I was surprised by the request for a divorce; excitement, because I didn't want to be married to him anymore either; excitement, because I'm a positive thinker and always look forward to the future; anger, because, well, wouldn't YOU be angry if someone asked you for a divorce on Mother's Day? Fear, because I wasn't sure I could handle being a single mom and everything that comes with being one, and finally relief, because I knew that the relationship wasn't right for me, but I didn't have the courage to make the change myself.

Cyber Monday & The Best Answer to Nosy Single Mom Questions

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{Via}

***Be sure to check out our SMTP Cyber "Monday" Special below ...***

Word will spread that you're a single mom {through a divorce or however} -- and it will spread quickly and perhaps not-so-quietly throughout your workplace, community, church, friends, and family -- you will be asked invasive, intrusive, offensive, meddling, and upsetting questions. And not just by well-meaning friends and family ... even in a strictly-business meeting, you can share you're a single mom and the person across the table will ask nosy questions ... just because they feel they can.

People love juicy gossip, so you will be quizzed by by folks who have no business asking, and not the least need to know. Because you may not be your normal, tight-lipped, level-headed and discreet self right now, you may find it tempting to spill your guts and tell every scandalous tidbit. {Don't do it! Resist!} Or, you might be completely offended by the inquiries but not entirely sure you're not supposed to answer, as the person asking may have a concerned look on their face.

Gratitude Means a Happy Thanksgiving!

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{Via}

I'm hanging with my husband's family this week, deep in the heart of Louisiana. We'll be frying up a turkey and I'll be eating my annual pumpkin pie... yes, the whole darn thing. I do love me some pumpkin pie!
If you're having the least bit of a tough time getting into the Thanksgiving spirit this year, I understand! 
Did you know that gratitude is considered a "miracle emotion?" 
Gratitude is responsible for motivating, increasing self-control, and even helps our connections with others.
I want you to have the best Thanksgiving possible this year, regardless of how tough single mom life is at the moment. 
Here are 4 steps that can help:
1. Do This Brilliant 2-minute Exercise:
Think of three things that you are grateful for, things that benefit you, and without them your life wouldn't be as great.
Then, if you’ve got time, you can think about the causes for these good things. Say a silent thank you that they've come into your life.
That’s it -- short, sweet and effective! Two minutes to fill yourself up with gratitude, and the effects can last all day long.
Hooked and want more? Read more on this simple gratitude exercise, and then try these ...