Holidays & The Single Mom

This is my first year being remarried and it made me reflect on the five Christmas seasons I spent as a single mom. Most people ask, "What are you doing for the holidays?" This year I had an answer: my in-laws are visiting, we're going to fry some turkeys, make fudge and cookies and watch football. In all of the years I was a single mom, I didn't want to burden anyone with the feeling they "should" invite Lexi and me over to their house ... so we spent most of those Christmas Eves and days (and almost all other holidays) at home just hanging out. Alone.
I am an optimist, so I didn't focus very much on the fact that there wasn't a big list of things on our social calendar. Upon reflection, I thought I would check in with my readers and find out what they do during the holidays, especially when their kids are with the ex. Please share how you spend the holidays, especially if you spend them alone due to lack of family/friends.
My advice to any non-single parents: if you know a single mom (or dad) offer to take their kids for an evening, or even a day or two. Its a much-needed break they probably wouldn't ask for yet would gladly accept!

Is He the One?

It can be a tricky thing to identify when the one you're with is The One. One of my single mom gal pals confided in me she's in a relationship with someone she's "pretty sure" is the one, but there are some red flags.

I personally believe two things, and sometimes they contradict one another ... the first being, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, the second: the past doesn't equal the future.

So, which one do we use when we are deciding whether our potential future mate candidate is truly the one? What do you think?

The Successful Single Mom Book Launch

Calling all Single Moms! The official launch of the book is being held January 30, 2009 at 5:30 p.m. Come and meet a few of the moms involved in the Successful Single Mom Transformation Program.

The launch is being hosted at Marquis Las Vegas, the greenest and most wired new homes in Nevada! The event will be held at the spectacular modern estate home Marquis Las Vegas (www.MarquisVegas.com). It is located off of Tomiyasu Lane - betwen Warm Springs and Sunset, and Eastern and Pecos, directly across the street from Wayne Newton's Ranch.

If you would like an invitation, make a post or email me at honoree(at)coachhonoree(dot)com.

Help Needed!

One of my mom's from the SSM (Successful Single Mom) Transformation Program is so sick she called to ask for help and suggestions. What do you do when you have children to feed, homework to do and that unending list of things to do ... and you are so sick you can't see straight, and you don't have anyone to call for help?

How do you manage a situation like this? What are your tips for our fellow sick single mom?

Magic Moments

Lexi and I are reading The Secret of the Old Clock, Nancy Drew mystery #1. Each night we read for at least twenty minutes and we have a blast! Last night when I told her we were going to read together after I finished Effortless Living Class, she said, "SWEET!" When we cuddled up on the couch to do the reading, I could tell she was feeling all full up of "mommy juice."

We have a tradition I started when Lexi began kindergarten - after the first day of school, we change into pjs, make chocolate chip cookies and talk about the day.

When I think back to my childhood, there are a few very special things my mom did that have always stayed with me ... she made matching dresses for us to wear (so '70s!), she taught me how to crochet and she read to me, and eventually with me, at every opportunity. These moments were magical to me and made me feel special and loved. That's exactly what I have in mind for my daughter.

I'm curious to know what you do to create magic moments with your kids?

Asking for Help

The hardest thing to do, according to moms and single moms everywhere, is asking for help. Alisa pointed out that she already has a long list of things to do and knows that every other mom does too. She doesn't want to add more to someone else's list, so she struggles on her own.

There are two important things to note: (1) almost everyone wants to help you and they would be more than happy to do so, and (2) many hands make light work. When we all work together, what we're doing is more fun and gets done faster. That's the idea behind getting a workout buddy.

One of my favorite moms says, "Sure I'll have your daughter over. I'm a big believer in 'there's safety in numbers.'" Its true that my daughter is nowhere to be found for hours at a time when she has a friend over.

Here's my challenge to you: identify something you need help with, ask for help, and then leave a comment here about what happened and how you felt. (Hint: I think its going to work out great and you'll feel amazing.) Once you get the hang of asking for help, you'll wonder why you ever did it any other way.

Success!

Alisa, Julie, Christine, Melinda and I toasted to finishing the manuscript and "putting it to bed" at 6 p.m. on the dot last night. It feels great to finish a project like this one - it was a long road that has resulted in a book I'm truly proud of and I know is going to help single moms everywhere! We're right on schedule to release the book on January 16, 2009. (It's also been a blast taking pre-orders today ... wow!)

What was the last big project you completed and felt great about? Please share!