How to Enjoy Being Single and a Single Mom!






It’s all about attitude!  By attitude, I mean a positive attitude.  Don’t be embarrassed about being single.  Embrace it.  Be confident.  You rock single mama.  Know it. 

Don’t forget, you are still the same wonderful you, except now when you date, you come as a package deal.  Trust me, it’s not as tricky as it sounds.  You just have to use your brain!

Depending on the age of your children and your custody agreement, your free time (time without kids) might vary.  I recommend doing some things for yourself when you have the time.  Fill your time without your children so you aren’t sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself.

Let’s start with some fun ways to enjoy the single life:

-  Love Thyself and Count the Ways - Nobody can make you happy but yourself. So understand this first and foremost. You are awesome. Take a few minutes and write down all of your great qualities that you might have forgotten since your divorce (good dancer, funny, great cook -- you know!)

-  Get a Hobby - Always wanted to learn guitar?  Wish you knew more about Italian cooking? Dying to surf? Now's the time! Without anything holding you back -- make a commitment to do something for you. Who knows, you might meet a great friend or special someone on one of these activities!

-  Get Healthy - If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you look good! Take an honest inventory of your physical and mental health. Can you stand to lose a few pounds? Tone up? Need to get rid of some skeletons in the closet. Take this time to get your entire life in shape! You will live longer and be ready to go when you meet that special someone.

-  What do you REALLY want? -- Honestly. If you are just looking to get re-married because you can’t stand being alone -- you are on the wrong path. Are you looking for a standing Saturday Night dinner date? Or something more? Make a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Tuck that list away. Go on and make a life for yourself and do all sorts of fun things with your children and I promise -- that special person will find you -- because you are not looking!

-  Fake It ‘Til Ya Make It! -- Wake up everyday with a smile. Spin your life positive. Make plans to go out when you don’t have your children. Start checking things off your bucket list. If you don't get out and start enjoying life RIGHT NOW - it will pass you by. Sure you may be sad you aren't coupled up -- but that's not what life is about. Enjoy it -- you are healthy and you have today!

So take this opportunity to get to know you.  Dig deep and do the things you really love.  Your positive attitude and go get ‘em mentality will take you to places you never knew existed.  You have to put yourself out there and have fun! When you put the focus on you and your children, you will be surprised at how many people you meet when you get out there and participate in life.

I promise, once you start enjoying the life you have, you will meet someone special.  When you do, go slowly and check back with me, because I have some tips on introducing that new man to your family.  Rock on single mama! 

Thank you!

Marina





Marina holds a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature from The Ohio State University.  She is the IPPY Award winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life.  She is a dating coach in Dallas, Texas.  You can read an excerpt of her book and more on her website at www.stoplookingforahusband.com

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12 comments:

Diamante said...

Great suggestions,
it's a challenge every day but we have to do it. If we think about it in a more self-confident way, and, obviously, we have managed to come out fron the "abuse" period, we can use this time to recharge our batteries....it takes time and a honest, deep look at ourseleves, but it's absolutely worth it. And also our children deserve it. This is going to shape their life as well...they can learn from us how to face troubled times in life....it's one big lesson we give them without using too many words, just with the example. I love when my son is proud of me....and shows me to his friends as if I am a princess....i am happy to give him reasons to be proud of himself and his "peculiar" family....he does not feel we have less...I ma sure of that...It's up to me to make this possible!

SingleWorkingMama101 said...

Couldn't have written that better myself. Your attitude and the way you approach your day-to-day business will determine how good you are going to feel that day. gonna follow you on twitter now - @working_mama xx

Ana Garcia Grande said...

Very well said! I have been doing all that and more these last two years and I am having the time of my life. I wish all singles would take being healthy in all areas of life, a little more serious. Acm.garciag@gmail.com

rockingsinglechaos said...

As a single mom from the get-go (no involvement from the father), I really appreciate this blog and this site. I plan on ordering some of the books listed, as I feel a disconnect with other "single" moms - I don't whine and complain about some man, because I really am happier he is not involved than half assed involved.

Christian Allison said...

Yeah, I would love to do some of those things, but I NEVER have time away from my kids unless I am at work. It is like being on house arrest. I sit at home and they drive me nuts. How can I have a hobby when my life consists of coming behind them and cleaning their messes? I am too exhausted to do anything anyway. I would give anything if I could take a 15 minute nap when I get home in the evenings, but heaven forbid I get that much peace and quiet in a day. Anyone else out there as miserable as I am right now?

Honoree Corder said...

Hang in there, Christian! Every day that you're in the midst of a struggle, it may seem like that period of your life is going to last forever. But I promise you it doesn't! Keep focusing on the right things, doing the right things, and keep as positive of an attitude as you can. Things will get better!

Christine Dron said...

I've been trying to follow these rules for a few years, and although I've made a mistake it two, you can be a happy single mom :)

Carlos Strey said...

You're really awesome, Marina! It’s true that there’s nothing to be ashamed about being a single mom. In fact, it’s a badge that shows how strong you are to be able to raise your kids and facing all the family situations that are usually handled by couples. For me, it is a great opportunity, because you could give your children the undivided attention and love that they need. All the best!

Carlos Strey @ The Bridge Across

Luchia Dragosh said...

Great post!!! You are absolutely right that it all starts with attitude and that means positive attitude. I think sometimes is hard to maintain that attitude but with practice it becomes a lifestyle. What works for me is positive affirmations (Louise L. Hay). Also I have a stack of CDs in the car: Tony Robbins, Joel Osteen, Louise L. Hay and listening to them helps me to get that extra kick in the days I feel down.
I am also a single mom and my ex is not really in the picture. So finding and maintaining positive view to life is crucial if you want to live a fulfilling life and be the best person and mom you want to be.
Thank you got he great post.

Luchia Dragosh said...


Great post!!! You are absolutely right that it all starts with attitude and that means positive attitude. I think sometimes is hard to maintain that attitude but with practice it becomes a lifestyle. What works for me is positive affirmations (Louise L. Hay). Also I have a stack of CDs in the car: Tony Robbins, Joel Osteen, Louise L. Hay and listening to them helps me to get that extra kick in the days I feel down.
I am also a single mom and my ex is not really in the picture. So finding and maintaining positive view to life is crucial if you want to live a fulfilling life and be the best person and mom you want to be.
Thank you got he great post.

nataliej7 said...

Thanks for this! I am a single mom, without dad around at all. It has been really hard to date again because I have to get child care to even go out on a date. However, I have been fortunate enough to have people in my life who help me out with that. I can get depressed sometimes because I feel like I will never find someone. But I have decided to do a lot of the things you just talked about on my own, before I ever read this. So it was reassuring to read this list. I figure I should just put my time and energy into the things that make me happy, including my child, and my life will be full enough. If I meet someone, that will just be icing on the cake. I also believe life has a weird way of bringing people in when you aren't looking. When I look back at every good relationship I've had, that's how it's happened. Anyway, I also think you're right about just staying positive, and the "fake it till you make it" thing really helps too. Thanks!

Christina Lima said...

Thanks for the awesome post! It makes me feel more like I can do this! I always tell people to be positive but its hard sometimes. My life is my children and everything I do they are at my side. I tell people that if children aren't invited then count me out. I think there are ways to start or keep up with hobbies even with children by our sides. Just got to figure that one out. Also, just because we have become single Moms does not mean our life has ended in fact it has only began. Just check out all the benefits & keep positive!