It’s all about attitude! By attitude, I mean a positive attitude. Don’t be embarrassed about being single. Embrace it. Be confident. You rock single mama. Know it.
Don’t forget, you are still the same wonderful you, except now when you date, you come as a package deal. Trust me, it’s not as tricky as it sounds. You just have to use your brain!
Depending on the age of your children and your custody agreement, your free time (time without kids) might vary. I recommend doing some things for yourself when you have the time. Fill your time without your children so you aren’t sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself.
Let’s start with some fun ways to enjoy the single life:
- Love Thyself and Count the Ways - Nobody can make you happy but yourself. So understand this first and foremost. You are awesome. Take a few minutes and write down all of your great qualities that you might have forgotten since your divorce (good dancer, funny, great cook -- you know!)
- Get a Hobby - Always wanted to learn guitar? Wish you knew more about Italian cooking? Dying to surf? Now's the time! Without anything holding you back -- make a commitment to do something for you. Who knows, you might meet a great friend or special someone on one of these activities!
- Get Healthy - If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you look good! Take an honest inventory of your physical and mental health. Can you stand to lose a few pounds? Tone up? Need to get rid of some skeletons in the closet. Take this time to get your entire life in shape! You will live longer and be ready to go when you meet that special someone.
- What do you REALLY want? -- Honestly. If you are just looking to get re-married because you can’t stand being alone -- you are on the wrong path. Are you looking for a standing Saturday Night dinner date? Or something more? Make a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Tuck that list away. Go on and make a life for yourself and do all sorts of fun things with your children and I promise -- that special person will find you -- because you are not looking!
- Fake It ‘Til Ya Make It! -- Wake up everyday with a smile. Spin your life positive. Make plans to go out when you don’t have your children. Start checking things off your bucket list. If you don't get out and start enjoying life RIGHT NOW - it will pass you by. Sure you may be sad you aren't coupled up -- but that's not what life is about. Enjoy it -- you are healthy and you have today!
So take this opportunity to get to know you. Dig deep and do the things you really love. Your positive attitude and go get ‘em mentality will take you to places you never knew existed. You have to put yourself out there and have fun! When you put the focus on you and your children, you will be surprised at how many people you meet when you get out there and participate in life.
I promise, once you start enjoying the life you have, you will meet someone special. When you do, go slowly and check back with me, because I have some tips on introducing that new man to your family. Rock on single mama!
Marina holds a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature from The Ohio State University. She is the IPPY Award winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life. She is a dating coach in Dallas, Texas. You can read an excerpt of her book and more on her website at www.stoplookingforahusband.com