Moving From Bitter to Better

I got a tweet a while ago:

@SingleMomBooks I have some bitterness in my mind … which I do not want to show in front of my babes n my mom..tell me how! Pls.

I can relate, and I don’t even need to clarify what or who the bitterness is about!

My first thought is to take variables out of the picture and take 100% responsibility for everything. You are where you are, for better or worse, because of decisions you made. When you take this responsibility, you also come into the realization that you get to keep choosing what happens next in your life! You’re in control of your destiny and your future is up to you!

If you’re bitter toward your ex, you chose him. It’s time to sit down and do an exercise called, “why am I grateful for my ex?” Before you stop reading, keep in mind that you’re probably the most grateful for the children you had with him, more grateful about them than anything else in the whole world! If you look hard enough, you can find things you’re grateful for and about, and that will lessen your bitterness.

If you’re bitter because you’re a single mom, think about what’s great about being a single mom. As I wrote in The Successful Single Mom, one of the best things about being a single mom is all of the great quality time you get to spend with your kids!

Focused time that creates memories they will remember for their whole lives. Pretty cool, right?

Find the good in your bitterness, and find someone who can be a sounding board to keep you focused on those positives. Find another single mom you can talk to, share fun times with, and hold each other accountable.

Set some exciting, future-focused goals. Get busy doing all of the things you’ve put off and inject some fun into your life. Take the kids to the park to feed the ducks, go roller-skating, study a foreign language {our local library offers a free on-line service}, learn to belly-dance. Do things that you can do with your kids, and some with just your girlfriends … and some that might even include a man.

Hang in there, mommy! Those kids grow up so fast and they are paying attention to everything you say and do.

Make sure you’re modeling the best woman and mom you can be for them, and for yourself.

The best is yet to come.

Do you have some words of advice for our single mom? Please post them in the comments!

Do you have a question for The Successful Single Mom? Leave it in the comments, below, or submit your question to christina {at} honoreecorder {dot} com.

You Might Also Want to Read:

The Successful Single Mom is the only book series for single moms written in a positive, can-do voice, from the coaching perspective, by an executive coach who was also a single mom. These books provide that road map for creating the life you want, starting right now, today!

1 comment:

Cicely C. said...

I very much agree with your thoughts towards finding the good in even the bad things. That's the only way I have been able to overcome hardships on my single mom journey. There are days I am upset because of how things are, but as u stated I did choose my ex - sadly! :) What I have started trying to do is counting 5 things I'm thankful for every morning :). Helps to put things in perspective